Gaining Wisdom Across Generations
I have been part of a wonderful book club for several years. It has fed my soul and allowed me some interesting and diverse relationships. If you can invest the time, I would highly suggest you treat yourself to this delightful adventure. The first couple of months, I was so intimidated by the avid and passionate group of readers. To say they loved reading great books was an understatement. But my fears were quickly alleviated as we plunged into some of the great classics followed by rich conversations discussing the authors, characters, time period, etc.
What I loved most about the stories we read was the characters. They always made me want to be a better person. I admired their moral attributes and perseverance and, despite the difficulties they faced, they rose above all of it and their integrity remained intact. They may have slipped or wavered along the way, but that just endeared them to me even more. Every single book made me glad to be alive; to have a mind that can think and a heart that can love. Years later, they are all still with me — each character weaving themselves into my own story. I could have read the books all by myself without the group, but I would have missed the richness of all those beautiful people. Their individual and collective contribution enriched my life.
Who is cheering you on to live out your story?
What about our stories — yours and mine? They’re not fictional, but eternal. We are in the process of discovering each chapter of our very own story, divinely written. It is intertwined with all sorts of characters and events woven in and through each experience we encounter. It’s a story that is so highly significant that it must be told. It must be lived out to the fullest.
Paul Tripp writes:
“Thankfully I am not the author of my own personal story. Your story isn’t an autobiography either. Your story is a biography of wisdom and grace written by another. Every turn he writes into your story is right. Every twist of the plot is for the best. Every new character or unexpected event is a tool of his grace. Each new chapter advances his purpose”.
I like to think of my relationships as chapters along the way. Witnesses cheering me on. Some are at the very beginning, others all the way through weaving themselves in and through different adventures. Some are more distant due to location. Yet the thoughts of them are sweet and when we get together, it’s as if we never were apart even one day. Others have passed on but have left their imprint forever rooted in my life.
The Bible tells us that these saints who have gone before us are like a crowd cheering us on from the stands at a sporting event. Hebrews 12:1-2a states, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith…”
As I carefully scan my past, I am so very grateful for those who have poured into my life. I now see it was His divine mandate contributing to who I am today. Those who have gone before me — encouraging, supporting, and cheering me on — have helped me to see what God sees… my true identity in Christ.
Receiving wisdom from older generations
I became a mom when I was a young believer. My world seemed completely but beautifully upside down. I had no clue other than instinct about my baby, and the church was foreign to me to say the least. It didn’t take long for me to meet a few other young moms and we started to attend a Bible study together. This was great because it gave me connection and a couple hours of enjoyable and stimulating adult conversation.
What was interesting was the age range of the ladies in the group — young 20s (like myself) all the way up to 90. What a range! But you know what? Those more mature ladies were my greatest fans and my biggest cheerleaders.
They poured into me with their graceful hospitality, wisdom, gifts, and service.
They were so much a part of my well-being at the time.
They helped increase my faith.
They encouraged me in my marriage, mothering… everything!
And they led by example of what a truly seasoned follower of Christ looked like.
No two were alike and, even though they have all since gone on to glory, I remember each of their names and loving faces to this day. I’ll never forget their beautiful essence and, most importantly, how much they loved me and my family unconditionally.
Passing on wisdom to younger generations
As my children grew up and I slowly became an empty nester, I had the opportunity to be part of another mom’s group as a “more mature” mentor. It has been an incredible experience for me because I was able to build all sorts of relationships with young moms just by showing up and being me. That’s it! That is all that was required. There was a group of us “mentor moms” who would pray for the ladies at our tables before they arrived, we made ourselves available after meetings for whatever need they might’ve had, and checked in on them throughout the week. It allowed me to share myself and encourage them as women, wives, and moms. I loved it!
One of the other mentor moms who really displayed the gift of encouragement, was an avid skier. She would invite a group of moms to the slopes for a day of vigorous exercise and lunch. The two and a half hour drive to the slopes and back allowed all the opportunity for deeper conversation and connection in a very unconventional but amazing way. Those young moms loved the attention. They felt valued and significant and at the end of their short ski trip they were ready to face their world with new energy and purpose. All because one woman wanted to share her passion of God, life, family and ski slopes.
Who are you surrounding yourself with?
So, I’ll ask again. Who in your life is cheering you on? Who is pointing you to new heights and a fresh perspective — helping you see what you may not see for yourself? Is there someone encouraging and helping you mature in your faith? You can’t do it alone. We were made for community and there are many ages, shapes, and sizes of those who are ready, willing, and able to walk with you in the now.
Are you desiring more intimate relationships that energize and catapult you to new heights? Or maybe you just want encouragement in the season you are in… to feel accepted, appreciated, heard.
There is real value in intentionally surrounding yourself with people of all ages that will speak life into your soul. People who are safe and trustworthy. People who will be able to see your unique gifts, strengths, and talents. To listen to your passions and share theirs with you.
I believe that God orchestrates opportunities for us and as we are connected to Him in an ongoing, deliberate way. He will give us the desires of our hearts. He will bring people into our lives to meet our needs, and others we might be able to bless in their season of need.
If we have teachable hearts, we are always learning. And there will always be someone coming behind us that may want to glean what we have learned. Someone in the faith who is older has usually experienced many valuable lessons they can offer to the younger women. They also typically have more time to give of themselves. Their experiences and wisdom can greatly benefit those presently in the trenches. One truly essential attribute is that they are solid and grounded in the things of the Lord.
We must be willing to be vulnerable, honest, and transparent with those to whom we are intimately entrusting our hearts. Similarly, they must also be of strong character — trustworthy, humble, faithful, and not a gossip.
Seeking God for the right relationships
I would encourage you to pray and ask the Lord to bring people into your life that will be that perfect holy fit. Pray also for wisdom to know who to stay away from. I do not say this lightly. We may be so eager to join into what seems like a positive relationship only to realize later that it was not of the Lord. The enemy has a way of making darkness look good on the surface but, in the end, bites like a serpent. We all must always be on the alert at all times. I say this from experience.
To find these treasured relationships, you must put yourself out there. For some of you, this can be very hard. It may look like joining a class at church. You could ask pastoral staff at your church if they know people who are safe mentors that you might build a relationship with. Decide to view every single person as the holy image of God and value their voice while in your presence.
A few years back, a dear young woman in her 30s sought me out for a relationship. She saw a kindred spirit and she was seeking someone who had already raised her children to come alongside as an encourager. I have to say, I was the one who was and continues to be encouraged by her never-ending faithfulness. She is a prayer warrior and encourages me with notes, texts, and genuine care. I have watched her grow into the most beautiful Christian woman, wife, mom, friend, sister, and daughter. Her intentional pursuit of me has blessed me beyond what I could not even comprehend, and I have no other word to explain my feeling other than grateful! Every time I think of her I am overwhelmed by her love towards me and others.
Since I decided to follow Christ 41 years ago, God has continued to bless me with many beautiful Christian relationships. And I am confident he will do the same for you. He never leaves us stranded all alone. It may feel like it at times, but that is just a feeling, not the truth for those of us living in Christian community. We may have to let go of pride, accept vulnerability, and cry out for help. I promise, when I have done that, He has always come through in a big way! Trust Him and trust who He brings you.
Author: Christine Fowler